Remember at the beginning of your relationship when you always looked your best for each other, when not even a nose hair was out of place? As time passes, it’s hard to maintain the same attention to appearance as we did in the beginning, what with the baby spit-up, weekly housecleaning and gardening chores, and lazy Sundays. If your relationship has lost a little of its fizzle, take a good hard look at yourself in the mirror. Paying just a little extra attention to grooming and hygiene can make the idea of spontaneous sex a lot more appealing.
A couple’s relationship can be both complicated and enhanced by outside relationships. Not all outside relationships will fit well into a couple’s life together. Some of them, like those with mothers-in-law, can’t exactly be avoided, but others can, and they should be kept separate from the couple’s relationship. These friendships can enhance the couple’s time together by giving each person time and space to nurture and develop interests that the partner doesn’t necessarily share.
Some couples may be afraid to argue, believing that it’s a sign that they aren’t compatible or fearing that the argument will be the end of the relationship. Others use it as a prelude to passionate make-up sex. However, couples who know how to argue well find that it strengthens their connection with each other, and a strong relationship is a safe space for airing differences. According to the experts, it’s not the differences between partners that cause conflict, it’s how they handle their differences.
Routine has its place in a busy life, but the danger is that the routine will become a rut, leading to boredom, laziness and sometimes to the case on the previous page, in which things are taken for granted and no one remembers to commit tiny acts of love or express gratitude.
Part of the trick to overcoming routine is to plan ahead, and part of it is being spontaneous. You’ll need to plan for a date with your partner.
What’s that old saying — “Familiarity breeds contempt”? This may be true for some, but more often, familiarity makes people take each other for granted. In his book, “The 100 Simple Secrets of Great Relationships,” David Niven, PhD, says, “We define our relationships based not on the best days or the worst days but on the average days. Strive to be supportive in average ways on average days, and you will set in place a major building block of a relationship.” Indeed, recent research shows that gratitude is associated with satisfaction and happiness in a relationship.